So, just for fun I've developed this silly alter ego within community and work: Aubrey Hightower. I have a man on my case load DJ* who I have been working with for 5 months. He still struggles to remember my name and experiences delusions regarding drug charges from 1990.
DJ calls me Ms. Hightower. DJ is usually in a rush to attend a group for a free meal or some tokens, so when I run into him on my way into work he will hastily update me on the progress of his legal case. One day as I was shuffling along the icy sidewalk to buzz the door, DJ saw me and said, "Ms. Hightower, I have great news, I am appealing to the US Supreme Court!"
One thing I've started to incorporate into my work the past year is the concept of entering other people's realities. I have met many homeless men (and one particular woman who wears black bourrés) who have been so negligent with their medication that they are living on a completely different plane of reality. As a result they usually have no one to talk to and bare the brunt of shelter bullying. So I keep a closer eye on them, because I love the underdog. And if I have the availability during my day I will spend hours talking to them (I'm looking at you, HL who talks to the coffee pot and jams with his radio off).
I am not necessarily "job ready" when it comes to identifying mental illness, and thankfully that's not my job. My job revolves around the power of suggestion and goal setting: I build a lot of little bridges for men to walk across to enter stability. Building these bridges is easiest when working within or at least having a desire to understand an individual's reality. Aubrey Hightower enters people's realities and will go to the "crazy" place with people, because it's a solid foundation for relationship building, which is what I enjoy the most about my job.
I met with DJ last week to review his housing plan....and legal battles. DJ continues to put off having his psychiatric evaluation completed for his housing application. I wouldn't say I'm a patient person, but for some reason I'm able to find a deep well of patience when it comes to the mentally ill especially when they're afraid of the stigma accompanying their diagnosis. And I am comfortable with the long time this will most likely take. I'm comfortable knowing I will most likely not see DJ get housed because I'll be onto a new job, and I'm learning to exist within the parameters of my own reality.
I had this bizarre dream where I was at work and one of the older men who is on dialysis had a cut on his head. I grabbed our first aid kit and put on some gloves and pulled out a couple of Band-Aids, and I was shocked to see that the Band-Aids were actually the rough, gritty part of Velcro. I turned to my boss and said, "This is ridiculous, you really want me to put this on the cut," and was told, "Audrey, you need to learn to work within the parameters of your reality."
So this is where I have been the past few months: sorting out what the parameters of my reality are while maintaining a sense of how messy the structures I work within are and determining how to sustain an appropriate and livable amount of tension between the two.
*Name has been changed
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